The Sweater Project



Judging from the crest, Kevin thinks this might be the polo uniform of the country club that kept Nelson Mandela in jail. It tries to say: I'm extremely fancy. Classic, even. It actually says: I'm the color-blind person's version of a dog whistle.









Wear this with shoes and no socks and you could be Don Johnson's grandfather. This sweater also resembles those mall kiosk posters where, if you stared at the pattern long enough, they revealed a picture. In this case, death. It tries to say: I'm a rainbow trapped in a loom. It actually says: Fresh bile stains permanently.






It tries to say: I can fly! Even while on the ground! It actually says: M.C. Escher gets exsanguinated. This is what it looks like when sweaters cry.






This item screams, "where's my Doublemint twin?" Here's what the Matrix code looks like under a microscope - the one where "whole crops were lost."



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