Mr. Green Jeans died and all I got with this lousy sweater. This apparently coincided with Kevin's "Ferris Bueller" phase. It tries to say: The Hulk called: He wants his cardigan back. It actually says: Just like the green Jell-O you'll gum to death when this bad boy comes back in style.
Cardigans ... they're not just for 80-year-olds anymore. It tries to say: Up with People who wear this. It actually says: Unstoppable phalanx of little penises.
The Gene Simmons' retirement home collection. Or Mr. Rogers returns from the 12th Level of Hades. Or, a rejected merchandising tie-in.
A magnet for cat hair -- and giant flakes of dandruff.
Made of the softest, most durable hairball.
The secret ingredient, though, is love. And what's with the 1% viscose? Is that liquid knit? To the rest of us, it's called rayon, meaning either Ohio didn't get the memo -- or this sweater is more than 80 years old.
We think the latter.
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